Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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