I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
