Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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