dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
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Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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