turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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