All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
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Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
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I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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