good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
