I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
