yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize