There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
