its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
