just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
