My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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