Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
