It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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