Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Someone came in the potted fern
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
