never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
