spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
