i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
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I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
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They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize