I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
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We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
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I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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