wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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