did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
