I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
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