whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
