It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
