I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
