Hey man sorry I got all grabby
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I love you. Go after that dick
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
