But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
