They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
