i don't like sucking hair
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
everyone is single if you try hard enough
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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