Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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