This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
