well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
