I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
She needs sedatives and a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize