you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize