I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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