So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
