Just fell off a train. Bad.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
