I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
