he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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