It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
