Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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