on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize