Sry I called you an 8
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Randomize