Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
not ubering you a puppy
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
