last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Ladies don't puke and tell
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
