if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
