Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
