I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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