a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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