I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
this boner is exhausting
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
