New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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