would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
