I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
