marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Randomize
