ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize