By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
