Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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