she was so not down for the gang bang
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
