so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
