This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
