just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize