I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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