i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I hate all girls vehemently.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
