non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
