At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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