my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
