So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
