There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
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the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
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I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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