You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
